I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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