We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
