I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
