is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
