so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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