marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
