Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
