i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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