Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
