You just made me feel so damn special
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
