he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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