Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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