i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Randomize
