this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
