i think my tv is drunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
