i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
