Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
