Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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