i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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