Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
