You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
