giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
