I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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