So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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