So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
