from now on my penis is your penis
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
