There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
