Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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