Don't you send me to vm
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
