Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
