Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
