one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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