i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
