you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
