standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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