I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
