i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
