Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
