Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
