I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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