Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In other news, I just burned my penis
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
