ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
