What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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