I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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