We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
