Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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