i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
