we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
