look no pants
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
