Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
