I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
