So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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